1210

I'm doing a lot better.
I hate dealing with this stuff though, I hope we'll get back together and things will be good again. or even better than before.
Over facebook he seems so content and happy, and even though I'm not some sad puppy anymore I'm not happy! I know it's hard to tell through the internet though.

I just wish he understood where I was coming from. And I wish I could know how he could just drop everything so quickly and so easily when just days before we were talking about moving forward with our relationship... And it's been so many months.

It was just a relationship and I need to be strong about it.. and I probably need to get over it. But he was the first guy to ever show me he gave a damn and really treat me right and show me a functional, normal relationship. It was amazing. So letting that go is beyond difficult.

As pathetic as it sounds, I can't help feeling different now. I'm not as excited about life (very dramatic sounding, I know) and I want to sleep endlessly. He doesn't come over anymore or pick me up so we can go anywhere. I feel stuck in my own life, like before he gave me an escape... Or another life when I was with him. Now everything is just blank and I'm left with my thoughts- worries, anxieties, hopes and fears.